Back to School Season: Connection Beats Perfection
Bronwyn Riha, RP(Q)
Summer’s over, and suddenly we’re expected to swap beach days and late nights for
alarm clocks, packed lunches and homework battles. If your house feels like chaos right
now, trust me – you’re in good company.
Back to school stress isn’t just a teen thing. Parents feel it too. New schedules, sports
practices, endless forms to sign – it’s enough to make anyone’s nervous system want to
crawl right back into bed. But what we don’t talk about often enough is that you don’t
have to have it all figured out to support yourself, and your kids, through the stress. In
fact, one of the best things you can do is simply talk about the changes you’re
experiencing, together.
The funny thing about teenagers is, they don’t always want to announce their stress.
And if they do open up, it’s tempting to want to jump straight to fixing things as their
parents. They mention they’re struggling with their math homework at dinner and
suddenly you’re Googling tutors at 11pm on a Tuesday. But teens and parents alike –
most of us just want to feel like someone gets it – that someone can empathize with
what we’re going through. Before jumping to a full-blown action plan, consider how you
would want to be met in moments of stress. A simple, ‘Yeah, that sounds rough”, or “I’ve
been there, can I help?”, not only gives your teen a bit of comfort, but it also gives them
the agency in determining how to manage their own stress, which is an independence
they tend to crave.
Keeping the conversation door propped open goes a long way. The act of simply
showing up emotionally for the ones we love is a powerful connection tool. But let’s not
forget the toll that can take on our own wellbeing, as humans after all. Remember,
you’re allowed to have your own feelings about back-to-school season too. Maybe
you’re relieved for the new routine, or you’re feeling a sense of grief over watching your
kiddo grow up, or maybe you’re stressed just trying to keep all the moving pieces going.
All of that is normal. When you give yourself permission to feel what you feel, you’re
modelling resilience and authenticity. Kids can at times, be emotional sponges – learning
how to move through the world by watching us. When you share your humanness, you
show your teen that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes, and it’s possible to
move through it together.
Connection always beats perfection. Your teen doesn’t need you to nail the perfect
schedule or pack the best organic bento-box lunches – what they really need is you.
Showing up does not have to be about having all the answers. Teens feel steadier
knowing you’re in their corner, even if the routine is bumpy. So, give yourself the grace
to let go of expectations, find your moments of calm, and extend your self-compassion a bit further this back-to-school season. Because the truth is, this time of year will always
bring a little chaos, but your presence is what makes it feel manageable.